Can't You Just Be Still? Part 1

I don’t believe it’s by accident that I’ve encountered many lessons, scripture, and advice on rest lately.  My mom is constantly, lovingly telling me I need to slow down and rest.  She’s not wrong, but sometimes I just don't know how.  This blog post is one the Lord has been prompting me to write for several months. The lack of margin in my life has had ideas of its own and kept me from writing, but this prompting has now become more of a conviction.  God has brought so much to my mind on the topic of rest and the need for more quiet time with Him that I must obey and share.

As I reflected on the subject, I pondered whether God lovingly thinks, “Can’t you just be still?”  It caused me to think of a mother whispering with clenched teeth to her 6-year-old with ants in his pants during the quiet of a Sunday sermon, “Can’t you just be still?”  You can picture this with me, right?  As adults, in our everyday lives, we are much like that wiggly young one. We don’t know how to be still in today’s world.  Many activities and forms of entertainment plead for our attention: youth sports, social media, TV shows, podcasts, and I would even add church activities to the pile.  While none of these are necessarily bad in nature (depending on the content), they can become “bad” as they take the place of what’s good.  Let’s take stillness, for example.  The Lord commanded, “Be still and know that I am God…” (Psalms 46:10)  Do we obey?

During the day, when I have a moment to be still, I usually fill the stillness with an audiobook, a podcast, music, or a phone call.  True stillness with absolutely nothing else going on is such an exquisite rarity.  The Google definition of stillness is “the absence of movement or sound.”  Hmm…. when’s the last time you experienced true stillness.

In an article called, “Are We Just Too Busy?”, it stated, 

  According to surveys conducted in recent years by the Pew Research Center, 52 percent of Americans are usually trying to do more than one task at a time.  And 60 percent sometimes feel too busy to enjoy life.  Among parents with children under age 18, 74 percent said they feel too busy to enjoy life. 

Too busy!  Yes, I agree!  Life is too busy and this epidemic of busy-itis is rapidly increasing.  At our house, the number of sit-down dinners we have a week indicates our level of busyness.  During our fall volleyball and football season, we do good to get one to two sit-down dinners a week.  During the winter months, our schedule clears up a lot more, and we manage 4-5 sit-down meals on a good week.  Do I think sitting at the table and having a meal together is important?  Yes!  But do I allow the busyness of life to smoke out this quality family time at the table?  Yes!

“Family Dinner Benefits: The Real Facts Uncovered” stated that the frequency of family meals has declined by 33% in the past 20 years.  Why is this important to note?  Look at these benefits below, quoted straight from the article:

According to The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, kids and teens who share family dinners three or more times per week:

• Are less likely to be overweight

• Are more likely to eat healthy food

• Perform better academically

• Are less likely to engage in risky behaviors (drugs, alcohol, sexual activity)

• Have better relationships with their parents

  
  

I took this topic to Facebook and asked how many nights a week people sit down to eat together for dinner.  See the results below.

I am actually impressed by my Facebook friends.  Many of them are doing very well in the family dinner category.  It is worth noting that 12 out of the 16 who eat dinner at the table seven nights a week are empty nesters. Bryan, look what we have to look forward to when we’re empty nesters!  In all reality, I would much rather that number be higher while our kids are still at home.

 I’ve discovered through this little poll that I’m not a very good researcher.  I should have asked for a definitive number instead of having answers like 2-3 nights a week.  I gave the benefit of the doubt and went with the higher number.  I also should have asked those commenting for the number and ages of their children (if they still have kids at home).  It seems that it dramatically impacts the number of sit-down dinners.  Those of you with kids still at home who are eating at the table four or more times a week, I wish I could personally give you a pat on the back or a hug!  There are many of us who could learn a lot from you!

Now, this blog post is not about family dinners, but it’s just one point that the busyness of life is impacting the quality of our lives and of our kids’ lives.  The best example from scripture I can think of that illustrates this point is the story of Mary and Martha.  Jesus was visiting the home of siblings Lazarus, Mary, and Martha.  While Martha ran around the place preparing for Jesus, Mary sat at His feet, participating with Jesus.  Look at Jesus’ response to Martha’s complaint about Mary not helping: ‘“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”’  The Passion Translation describes Mary’s choice like this: “Mary has discovered the one thing most important by choosing to sit at my feet.  She is undistracted, and I won’t take this privilege away from her.”

Undistracted!  What an abstract concept these days.  Entering into a state of being undistracted takes incredible effort.  When I truly want to focus, I have to take my Apple watch off, turn my phone off, and find a place alone.  Notifications alone will cause war on our efforts to focus.  Last week, my daily average of notifications on my phone was 242.  The majority of those came from text messages and emails.  We have a problem, folks!  Let me restate that:  I have a problem, and I suspect there are many out there who are with me.  

Jesus has been so sweet to me to bring me scripture, devotions, and a desire to research this very topic of rest and the Sabbath.  Over the next few weeks, I will blog about this problem of busyness, distraction, and a pursuit for stillness.  I hope you’ll join me in becoming more aware of your lack of stillness and commit to clearing space in your life to “Be still and know.”  I’ve already looked at our schedule next week.  We have three school nights without a ball game.  Woohoo!  I’m committing to cooking dinner on those nights next week and sitting down as a family.  But I’m also committing to increasing my time spent in stillness knowing God. What will you commit to?

---

Want to Read More by Sarah?

Check out Sarah's first published book, Abundantly More. It's available on Amazon or for pick-up on Sarah's front porch.