ID the Worry

I have a confession to make. It’s not one I’m proud of. I tried really hard to fight it off, but I’ve been unsuccessful. Don’t judge me, but… I like it when you read my blog posts. I like it, even more, when you comment. The reason this is a confession is because when God called me to write, I knew that calling was about impacting His kingdom. He called me to write to share with you all that He is teaching me. As He builds my knowledge of Him, reveals my sin, and guides me in a closer relationship with Him, I’ve been trying to share these experiences in hopes of also impacting you and your walk with Him. I set out to make my writing all about Him. However, the enemies called self and pride have invaded and derailed my plans. As I share my new posts to FaceBook, I love watching the little number by the thumbs up and heart continue to rise. I especially love reading comments in response to the post. I even have a Wix app that I can check to see how many views each post has. This has become so fun for me to watch… until recently.

Called Out

A few weeks ago, I realized that with each post, my views were declining… and then I started to think about that…. a lot… worrying…. trying to figure out why. Until one day, on a God run, I was laying it all out- telling God exactly what my concerns were. Ya’ll, he responded to me in such a clear, 🤦‍♀️kind of way. He said, “Don’t you think I’ve got this?” It almost stopped me in my tracks. I’m pretty sure I had to stop running and walk for a bit to keep myself from hyperventilating. When He speaks to me so clearly, as He did that day, I’m overcome with emotion and, in typical Sarah Velotta fashion, I begin to cry. It’s a hot mess- literally! I had been worrying about something so insignificant because I made it about me instead of about Him, and He called me on it. “Don’t you think I’ve got this?” What a simple but profound question. He called me to write. He called me to share how He’s impacting my life. My job is to be obedient and follow through. My job is NOT to check my views numerous times a day or to see how many likes or comments I received.

After I dealt with my guilt of making His writing about me, I thought about the other areas of my life this applies to:

Me: I don’t know what school looks like this year for my kids or our staff?

God: Don’t you think I’ve got this?

Me: I don’t know what I want me to be when I grow up.

God: Don’t you think I’ve got this?

Me: This Rona thing is really getting out of hand.

God: Don’t you think I’ve got this?

Me: I’m so behind on my laundry!!!

God: You’re on your own, Sis!

I’m totally kidding about that last part. But this interaction really made me wonder, “What else am I worried or stressed about?” In which areas of my life am I not trusting God? I’ve heard people say that when we’re wrecked with worry, we’re not trusting God. When I’m worried or stressed out about something, it means I’ve made it’s outcome up to me. I’ve completely cut God out of the equation. When I really reflected on what I was so worked up about, it showed me that I’d lost my focus. If I write what He’s teaching me and put it out there for others to see, the rest is up to God. I shouldn’t be so worked up about the numbers.

Distractions and Denial

Earlier in that same run, God had revealed to me that FaceBook gets a lot more of my time than it should. I committed to Him that I would take a break from the Book of Face until I felt like I had a handle and could decrease my time considerably. This, coupled with the fact that I was checking my blog post on FaceBook too much, gave me back a lot more of my time- time I could use to be with my kids and husband, or more time reading The Bible.

Do you have any areas in your life where God could be telling you, “Don’t you think I’ve got this?” Once I stepped back and really reflected, I realized I had more areas I was anxious over than I realized. Some of my previous posts have addressed anxiety and stress and have given some guidance on how to fight back: don’t be anxious, be thankful, pursue peace. But I think I missed an important step. We have to be reflective enough to identify the areas in our lives that are making us anxious.

I feel like King David could’ve been a therapist because he was so good at identifying emotions and talking them out with God. David was very in touch with his emotions. Throughout the book of Psalm, David expressed how he is feeling to the Lord, but he followed his confessions of the heart with statements of God’s promises. Look at what David says in Psalm Chapter 6:

Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.

Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.

My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?

Turn, Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.

Among the dead no one proclaims your name. Who praises you from the grave?

I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.

My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my ford.

Away from me, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.

All my enemies will be overwhelmed with shame and anguish; they will turn back and suddenly be put to shame.

Wow, David! Tell us how you really feel! Ha! Just kidding! I need to be more like David- confessing my raw emotion to the Lord. Intertwined throughout the book of Psalm, David describes, in great detail, how he feels, he calls out to God for refuge and strength, and he claims His promises. I believe I often try to hide from my sorrow, my worry, and my anxiety. I want everything to be fine. But He knows. I can’t hide from Him. Being real with God and telling him what I was worried about, as petty as it was, led me to the understanding that I was worrying about something that was insignificant and that was distracting me from God’s plan. In that confession of my emotions, God spoke those words so pointedly, “Don’t you think I’ve got this?” How often does He think this as He watches us go on about our day, fretting about every little thing?

A Shift in Perspective

We could take some guidance from a woman named Adelaide A Pollard. In 1902, she was hoping to go to Africa as a missionary but at the last minute, she was not able to raise the money needed for the trip. She was terribly disappointed but found some inspiration at a prayer meeting. An elderly lady prayed these words, “It really doesn’t matter what you do with us, Lord, just have your own way with our lives.” That evening, Adelaide penned all four verses to the song, “Have Thine Own Way, Lord.”

1 Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!

Thou art the potter, I am the clay.

Mold me and make me after thy will,

while I am waiting, yielded and still.

2 Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!

Search me and try me, Savior today!

Wash me just now, Lord, wash me just now,

as in thy presence humbly I bow.

3 Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!

Wounded and weary, help me I pray!

Power, all power, surely is thine!

Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!

4 Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!

Hold o'er my being absolute sway.

Fill with thy Spirit till all shall see

Christ only, always, living in me!

(http://dianaleaghmatthews.com/have-thine-own-way-lord/#.XzHuivhKi3I)

Parts of this song snuck in my mind on my most recent run. There are so many beautiful phrases: “Mold me and make me after thy will.” “While I am waiting yielded and still” My favorite line is the very last one: “Till all can see, Christ only always living in me.” If I truly owned the words in those lines, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be caught up in how many thumbs up I have on FaceBook or how many views I have on Wix.

What are you worried about? What emotions are you hiding from? He knows. At the beginning of time, He knew there would be a terrible pandemic in 2020. He knew we wouldn’t be able to start school normally and He knew all the details of when, where, how, why, and everything in between? Is He whispering to you, “Don’t you think I’ve got this?” Because He does. He’s got this. I’ll leave you with the words of Paul from Philippians 4:19: “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Do you know what Paul’s saying here? “He’s got this!”

P.S.- Don’t stop giving thumbs up or commenting on my post! It is sweet and encouraging! I’ve fixed my heart and know that those likes and comments are all for His glory. ❤️